I've decided to start a new blog for 2011. This will be the last entry.

2010 was a year of many truths.

At times I was unable to bear them. It was sickening to see how badly people can treat others, usually their enemies, mostly their friends.

I've experienced anger, frustration and irritation more times this year than I have in my whole life.

I tried to work out the answers, why there was such a disparity between what I thought was real and how the world actually functioned.

I wondered why the human condition was so complicated. How people can lie and cheat their way through daily life and feel the least bit guilty.

I've realised that it hurts to be loved by someone but not being able to love that person back in return.

I've also realised that one-sided loving someone else is just as painful.

I can go on, relating every negative little thing that has happened to me.

But I'll stop here.

I was always a girl full of hope. I felt this year, I was punctured internally and my heart had sprung a leak. The good started spilling in a trickle before turning into a steady stream. I'd watch it float away with no intentions to fix the puncture, to treasure the life that was leaking away.

I'll put a stop to it. I will begin collecting again in 2011.

And while I'm glad another year has commenced, I feel a slight sense of sadness at having to leave the past 12 months behind.

Because for the first time in my life...
............I lived.